Thursday, February 28, 2008

Emotions

Being a.. dare I say.. musician is not that simple. For me anyway.

It was extremely difficult for me yesterday when I went for my class. Coz my tutor was asking me to feel all these feelings that I don't really feel like feeling. Afraid that they will consume me and then... you know lahh.. :(

It wasn't a good day.

I just really wanted to.. just.. dazed out... blank out my mind or something. But I couldn't do that. Because I had to be or try to portray to be a bitch(which I didn't even come close to), confident(which I'm not really there yet, I'm more skewed towards the insecure side).

And there were soooo many other feelings that I'm suppose to feel when playing my music. So that you know.. the music won't come out like.. it's being played by a robot, or a machine. It has feelings, and you would feel what the musician was feeling... or something.

Luckily we were playing in the concert hall(woohooo which is an awesome awesome thing!!) And when I was playing that ultra sad song, I had tears in my eyes but my tutor couldn't see. So pheww... Aiyah but I'm suppose to FEEL the music what.. so I think that time when I played that song.. the song really did sound sad wtf.

One thing happened during lesson that I thought was funny. My tutor talks a lot. And he said it himself too. I was just asking him... pointing to a certain piece of music and asking him whether I should still do that. And then.. he went on a bigg and I mean BIG speech about do I really want to do this? What do I want to do with my life? Bla bla speech lah.. I'm sure you guys heard of that speech. It was very funny.. coz after that big speech he was looking at me.. waiting for me to say something.

Then I went, "Uhh... Mr. Bourque.. I was talking about the Arban Characteristic Studies piece, and whether I should still play that piece during the audition. I AM going for the audition, you don't need to worry about that...."

Then he was like, "Hahahhahahahaha.. you were talking about THAT!!! And I went on blabbing and blabbing! Why didn't you stop me?!"

I was like, "Uhhh..."

Ok.. the truth is.. I forgot what I said.. or maybe I didn't say anything at all.

And it was really funny when he asked me to be a bitch. Like a REAL BITCH. I tried. I really really REALLY tried. But he said I'm not there yet. I have to be more angry. As of now.. he said I'm not a wimp, I'm not a bitch, but I'm somewhere in between.... but skewed towards the wimp. :(

Can someone teach me how to be a bitch??

Pretty please??

*big shiny eyes*

p.s. And here Stewie complains that I'm always very emotional! Doesn't he know that most musicians are crazy?! And I must say.. very very... emotional wtf. You can't blame me!! I'm a.. musician!! *laughs hysterically*

Oooh.. I wanna blow bubbles!!

p.s.s. Ok.. now you guys know what I mean being very very.. emotional and crazy?? I watched Dan In Real Life and I cried :( Am I sensitive or am I sensitive??

Excuse me everybody, I shall go and try to be a bitch, be happy, sad, angry, confident for the next 2 hours now.

Update: I forgot to say.. I'm also suppose to be drunk. Coz one of the pieces I'm playing is a story about a drunk guy.

20 Comments:

Blogger KY said...

bitch? hahahah, you can keep trying but you'll never succeed!

February 28, 2008 at 6:08 PM 
Blogger Pam Song said...

Haha. A bit hard to imagine you being the bitch lor. You don't suit the image lah. Haha.

February 28, 2008 at 6:13 PM 
Blogger Wen-Qi said...

ky & pamsong: howwww?? how then?! my audition is this Sunday!!! I've to be a bitch by this Sunday!!!

February 28, 2008 at 6:19 PM 
Blogger Pam Song said...

Get somebody to turn to you suka suka any time of the day and ask you to, "BUAT MUKA BITCH!"

Then you pull a face.

Get them to do it to you a few times and hour. Over and over. It'll be a good laugh, of course... But after awhile, you really feel like whacking them over and The Bitch will really appear. HAHA. My colleague does it to me all the time. "Pam! Pam! Buat muka bitch!"

February 28, 2008 at 6:23 PM 
Blogger pinkpau said...

dan in real life very touching right!!!

eh your this instrument is a violin or a trumpet? i didnt know trumpet can play sad music!!

February 28, 2008 at 7:50 PM 
Blogger Wen-Qi said...

pamsong: hmmm... mayb.. i'll try that... lol

pinkpau: yes very touching indeed! trumpet. of course can play sad music. very sad ones indeed :(

February 28, 2008 at 9:41 PM 
Blogger Pam Song said...

Let me know if it works for you. Haha.

February 28, 2008 at 9:42 PM 
Blogger Unknown said...

HUH what is this I don't want to watch Dan in Real Life already touching movies are so boring.

Wenqi all you need to do is think of a certain Akon song or PHP script pop-ups then you can be anger already!

February 28, 2008 at 10:07 PM 
Blogger Wen-Qi said...

pam: sure thing!!

skyler: suprisingly the certain akon song doesn't really do it anymore. I shall think about the PHP script pop-ups!!!

February 28, 2008 at 10:36 PM 
Blogger Kimberly Low said...

why issit when i imagine wenqi playing sad songs with her trumpet...i feel like wanna laugh! lmao

poot pooot poot poooooot

*runs

February 28, 2008 at 11:27 PM 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wah...
This is one of the reasons why I joined a normal band rather than an orchestra...
Way too much pressure...
Hahahahaha...

By the way... (YOU MUST ANSWER THIS QUESTION)
Every post of yours seems to end in something that Boss Stewie care about you...
It would seem that his comments matter a lot to you...
Is there something going on???...

February 28, 2008 at 11:55 PM 
Blogger Linora 'Aronil' Low said...

Hey sam.. i know what you mean when you are forced to come out with expressions when you are either not in the mood or have never exp'ed. Why don't you try.. not trying to be bitchy but something similar to that, like arrogance or sarcasm... i'm sure u can do sarcasm.. and everytime u go wtf lol...may also help for the bitchiness too lol, cause u'r ticked with someone :P

February 29, 2008 at 2:50 AM 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're not the only one.. My GUY friend & I teared at Dan In Real Life too! Hahah!

You don't have to be bitchy.. Just be more assertive.

Nice girls end up first! :D

February 29, 2008 at 3:33 AM 
Blogger Wen-Qi said...

kimberly: why you want to laugh if u see me play sad songs... :(

porcupine: but orchestra is funnn... and why should i answer u? hahahahahha...

aronil: sighh... i dun think i'll ever get the bitch outta me.. sighhh..but i'll tryy!

sammy: damn sad rite!! Ok.. if i can't even do assertive.. being bitchy is out lol.

February 29, 2008 at 1:13 PM 
Blogger adelynyeoh said...

Lol. Musicians ARE crazy, according to our violin tutor. Hahaha!

February 29, 2008 at 8:02 PM 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are many beetches around.. :D hahahahaha just imagine yourself being the hottest girl on earth and that no one is better than you are HMPH and see. :D HAA.

February 29, 2008 at 10:13 PM 
Blogger Wen-Qi said...

adelyn: yah.. we ARE crazy in our own way..

michelle: huh?! i am hmph and see??!? now u make me confused..

March 1, 2008 at 12:07 AM 
Blogger Simon Seow said...

Piano or Violin? Don't tell me it's a wind instrument like a flute or a clarinet.

March 1, 2008 at 6:03 PM 
Blogger Wen-Qi said...

simon: it's trumpet actually lol

March 2, 2008 at 4:03 PM 
Blogger Pam Song said...

So? How'd it go? Bitchness successful?

March 3, 2008 at 11:07 AM 

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